Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
