i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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