I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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