Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
please come you make the beer taste better
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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