i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Is Oprah even human
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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