I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
