Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
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He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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