My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize