I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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