She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My penis needs a shock collar
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.