Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
