u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Are we in a gay sports bar?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
