I hate your face
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
