I hate all girls vehemently.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize