Sponge bath it is.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
