My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
