I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Ketchup is God's man juice
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
