I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
