my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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