I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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