I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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