I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
