If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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