Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
