He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize