Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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