And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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