Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
