Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
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Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
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Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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