She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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