It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
