i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just pee around me
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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