Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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