I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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