He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
