my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
In other news, I just burned my penis
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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