Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
