were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
