just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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