Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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