Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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