just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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