): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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