Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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