at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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