i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
