i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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