what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
