So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
