I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
