we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
