I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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