Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
