plz talk dirty to me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
