I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
