just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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