i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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