All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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