so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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